Since being pregnant I have experienced a whole range of symptoms and side effects. There was the relentless morning sickness of my first trimester that started at around week six, and felt like it was never going to end (whoever called it morning sickness is a total dick by the way, I had it morning, noon and night). There has been the aching and forever growing boob situation (both painful and costly). Oh and let's not forget the raging hormones that left me sobbing watching an episode of 'The Golden Girls' (the one where they give a lottery winto a homeless shelter).
These are all expected and run of the mill for pregnancy and appear on most lists that guide you through the craziness of growing a baby. However, I have experienced something else of late that has been a rarity during my adult life. I've started to realise that my body is fucking amazing, and I don't really give one about how other people see it. I totally love my massive belly. Me, the girl who hid her teenage body in massive baggy band hoodies, and sobbed in her 20s in changing rooms because she felt grotesque.
Whilst I am not 'eating for two', I'm eating what I feel like when I'm hungry, guilt free and it's liberating. I look at my belly and think 'wow, well done body, you're growing a human!'. My changing body is completely out of my control and I'm actually OK with it. I know that my body will likely never be the same as it was pre-pregnancy but I hope that I continue to feel the same kindness towards myself that I have of late.
I am already rolling my eyes at every magazine/website story I see about celebrities' 'post baby bodies' letting us know the secrets to how they 'got their body back'. My priority will be learning to be the best mum I can be for my little one, not how flat my stomach is. Of course I would eventually like get back to near my pre-pregnancy size, but I won't be sacrificing valuable time with my baby stressing over getting there.
I make jokes about how huge I am but that's just me, I joke about everything. I am totally over the moon to be pregnant and am beyond grateful that me and Mr S have been able to start a family together. My big fat belly is housing a human being, which is crazy and amazing. And the other changes that my body is going through are either necessary to accommodate the growing of that tiny human or side effects that I am happy to put up with because I know it will be worth it.
And it's not just during pregnancy that this is true, women's bodies are fucking amazing. It makes me really sad that we are so hard on ourselves about them and I morn for the time I've wasted in my life giving myself grief about it. Let's all be a bit kinder to our gorgeous squishy bodies and fabulous lady bits, and we can concentrate on enjoying life.